It was blazingly hot outside the hostel.The intensity of this sun can boil any tepid water to 100 degree cent. Any headache that results from its malignant attack may even become incurable. But this inclement weather did not stop the soldiers from blowing the trumpet for the afternoon parade. After all, we had pledged to serve 'under the sun and in the rain'. They envied us for our degrees and were determined to make life difficult for us at least for the three weeks we'll be under their cruel training. Around the camp, you can see some people swirling and swarming like bees.You might mistaken them for white fowls or prisoners in a concentration camp. They were actually corp members in incubation hence their detestable white-white uniform.
On this day, I was on my bed. I had fallen sick because my body reacted to the regimented excercises we had gone through. So I stayed behind while others scampered out to escape the wrath of the soldiers. As expected, the soldiers stormed our hostel barking, screaming and threatening brimstone and fire on whoever remained in the hostel. I maintained my calm, still as a mummy. One of them sighted me and ran in my direction like an hungry cobra that just spotted a delectable prey.I was undetered. Surprised his braggadocio did not move me, he became more furious and ordered with his barrack voice that I go out. 'I'm sick' I painfully muttered.He demanded my permit from the clinic section of the camp. I fumbled through my bag searching for the paper. I found it and slipped it into his hand. He scanned the content, stared at me, his eyeballs flaring with rage. 'You think say I no go school, watin you dey give me?', he querried, livid. He called the attention of his colleages and told them I wanted to deceive him with a sheet of paper. I was speechless.
A few metres away from my bed, another drama was unfolding. Another corps member who had stayed behind was being interrogated by a soldier.The soldier wanted to know why he stayed behind when others had left.The boy kept quiet.He threatened to take him to the guardroom if he didn't talk. Silence.The soldier became apprehensive of the boy's absorbed silence.He shouted at him to come down from the bed.More silence.'You dey mad?', he said with confusion and frustration in his husky voice.The boy gave him a long look and hesitantly whispered:'I have mental problem'.The young soldier recoiled and quietly stalked away from his bed.
I almost doubled up with laughter where I was.My soldier interlocutor was still very angry.His grouse with me was that I gave him a paper containing drug prescription and not permit.Since that was all I had to show I was sick,I could not say a word.My plea for consideration fell on deaf ears as he insisted I leave the hostel.'You no be the only one way dey sick,go out', he bellowed.And since I could not masterly feign mental problem like my hostel friend, I had to leave.
PS: This is to welcome all Batch C corps members across the federation into the three weeks NYSC orientation programme. What you just read is a glimpse into what to expect the weeks ahead-intrigues, tricks and threats. The soldiers, mopols, man 'o war will be your friends this time around, not the police. They will shout at you, threaten you but will not lift a finger against you. That's the rule. To do otherwise is a taboo. A breach of that sacrosanct rule almost disrupted my July camp.
You will eat for free, so you really don't need to be heavily stuffed with cash. But beware o. If you are in Ebonyi for instance, be careful of the meat. You may have eaten 'Jacky' without knowing it. Jacky means donkey meat. My Batch A corps member ate a lot of it without knowing. By the time they knew, it was too late. Some of them almost purged out their intestines on discovery.
Yes, attend the seminars. They are educative but delusive, especially the motivational talks. Participate in all the activities and competition-football, volleyball, parade,drama,cultural dance, early morning jogging. It's really fun. You'll learn a couple of martial songs and chants. My favourtite is: 'This is the way I wanted to be o(2ce), eh I want to be a corper, eh I want to be a rugged...' And prepare against the fire alarm night. It's the night of distress (**mouth sealed)
You must also wake up early. 4:00am will be a good time. Prepare your mind for the morning devotion and meditation. I took one of the morning talks when I was in camp, you can do it too.
Lest I forget, remember to go with all the things you'll need if you don't want to be a victim of exploitation. The traders in the 'mammy market' are envious of your fat allowee and won't mind sharing it with you. Go with a pouche(a waist bag to keep your money), a food flask and spoon. I regretted not having all these as I fell headlong into the hands of the 'mammy traders.'
Have fun. Make friends. Like me,document your experience.
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