Tales from my jungle 5: Dust, dust everywhere

Warning: If you read this, you may laugh. You may also feel angry. But it's the picture of what some people go through in this country. If you are an indigene of Ebonyi, don't read. If you read, don't be offended. As a budding journalist and writer, if I see, I must talk. Please pardon my churlish tendency. I promise to do a nice piece on Ebonyi soon as a journalist brother suggested. Don't mind the hammer in the grammar (whatever that means) We speak 'Engilishi' in the jungle. Are you ready for this? Let's go.
You know what happens when you visit a place for the first time and you become inquisitive so as to know the terrain. You want to keep your ears to the ground and gather enough information that will guide your actions and behaviour so you don't commit a faux pas. In the process, you hear a lot of gossips, lies,exaggerations, half truths and of course facts.'In a particular place in Ebonyi', so the story goes 'snakes come to visit you,eat with you,play with you.In fact, they bury snakes like human beings'. I was stunned, mouth agape. I later learnt it was true of old Ivo, one of Ebonyi local govts. I don't know if this ancient custom is still on. That field of study is open for research. You may consider writing a thesis on it. It will be called 'The snake thesis'. I will endorse it (laughing...) It was also in camp I first heard some people call Ebonyi dust of the nation. I wondered why anybody should for whatever reason deride a state of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with unfounded and fearsome reports. And not just any state, but a state that earned the spiritual tag of the salt of the nation. I felt irritated at that distortion of a graceful slogan.
At this time, we were still in the concentration, sorry I mean orientation camp where we were constrained to live regimented lives (we queue up for food as the crow flies).On a particular day, the camp commandant ordered us to do something weird.We were to wear our jungle boot on one foot and tennis shoe on the other. Picture it. Can you imagine what we looked like in that contradiction? Let me tell you:we looked sick and pathetic! Everybody was limping. It was very funny.
It was a relief when we left that confinement although some of us wished it continued because we had acclamatised to the harsh drills. It was when we stepped into the outside world I understood why Ebonyi is derisively taunted 'dust of the nation'. The columns of dust swirling in the atmosphere of this great state is quite unbeliveable. Any microscope that ventures to capture its fluids content is ready to pack up because the dusts will suffocate it to death. Believe me, I no dey bobo you (*winks*).
The reason for this embarrassing situation is that nature is still in full grasp of the state.A large portion of the land mass is still inhabited by its founding fathers-- towering thin trees and comfortable giant weeds. As a humble villager, if you wish to build your mud house or hut, you must form a hamlet so as not to incur the wrath of the gods of the sacred jungle. Many of the roads have not had the nigrescent touch of fine gravel.Those that have been tarred are suffused with dusts. Road side plantations are the worst hit. Their chlorophyll pigmentation is badly tainted and dented. Deep ditches, expansive potholes adorn the roads forcing drivers to sway and swerve which again precipitates avoidable vehicular collisions. Don't also be surprised to see civil servants, traders, farmers in dusty feet, they share that commonality (apologies to my Ebonyi friends. If you feel embarrassed, kindly help rub off this aspect, I mean the dusty feet thing). Just a few minutes trek and your feet have turned brown. I feel sick anytime I walk to my PPA.If you see me returning, you might think I was serving on a community farm (don't laugh o).
If you ask me what I think, I'll rather say the dust phenomenon is symbolic. It signposts the abject poverty of the people. It quickly warns you as a visitor or stranger not to expect any magical spark in the state. And most importantly, it advertises the mineral inadequacy of the state. Ebonyi does not have much in terms of resources, except for the salt and sand and its popularity for the 'Abakaleke rice' which tastes just like it sounds(I am sorry again o. You must forgive me). There are few industries available to upgrade the lives of the people. Things are that bad.
I guess you must be wondering what the fate of agriculture will be. The condition of the farmers is pitiable. They must mould heavy heaps before they can expect any yield from the stingy stony soil. And when it's harvest time, you may be moved to tears as they dig up tiny tubers. Then they must leave the lazy land to fallow for a long period before belabouring it again for its trickles.
The people are in dire need of help.I wish I can do something for them.I wish I can change their fortune.
To read more jungle tales and comment,click: www.childofdkingdom.blogspot.

Tales from my jungle: Dinning with lions

NB: This is a comic piece. It is the fourth in the series. I am sure you will enjoy yourself...as usual.

It really took time for the young man preparing the food to finish. I had sleepily but hungrily rolled on the edges of the mat I spread outside, waiting. The hunger was biting. The sachet water I had been sipping to palliate the savage worms in my stomach had failed to yield result. Instead, the worms became more angry that instead of telling them the truth, I was trying to pull a fast one on them. I tried reading Bessie's classic 'When rain clouds gather' to suppress the pain but I could not really concentrate. Hunger is stronger than book, you know. When will he be ready? I murmured quietly wit a wry expression on my grim face.
When he was finally done, he said we'll have to wait for one of us who was busy doing only God knows what. I was infuriated. But I must control it, as a man or I could embarrass myself. I had hurried to the seat made for me thinking to start eating immediately. But after his shocking and disgusting news, I decided to handle it in strides. I feigned indifference and turned away from the tempting rice.The worms in me were disappointed. At their closesth inch to victory, I messed up big time. They had caught the aroma of the rice and were very expectant before I dashed their hope with my tardiness. Desperate, I felt the worms growing hands and longing to reach for some pieces.When their attempt failed, they angrily pulled at my intestines. It hurts. Five minutes gone and there was no stirring.

My patience was growing thin. Why for God's sake should anybody hold me to ransom when I contributed for this damn food? I was close to losing my patience now. Then the 'delayer' showed up and apologized. Who cares, buzz off, I muttered in the dark.Now may we start? Someone has to pray on the food.Prayer again? Praying at meals sometimes can be hard o. The reason is that at the point of hunger, words can go wrong. And before prayer turns to curse, you must be wise. Even there are times meal prayer does not last for more than five seconds especially when the hunger is serious. It has to be sharp-sharp. You can guess the mantra. It's a childhood primary school prayer-'Bless this Food Oh Lord for Christ's sake, Amen. It is recited it with accustomed ease and speed.

Back to my dinner. While one of the zealous bro was busy firing prayer, my instinct told me to open my eyes. I snapped an eye and discovered the spoons were not complete. One is missing. I did a fast calculation. There are five of us, there are four spoons which means somebody has to pay, that must not be me. As soon as the prayer was over, I quickly made to grab one of the four spoons.Don't call it greed or selfishness. It is wisdom. If you are not wise in this world, you'll die of hunger.Your obituary would aptly read: 'Died of indiscretion' (laughing....)

With my portion guaranteed, I pointed out to the others that the spoons were incomplete. Somebody has to look for a spoon while the rest of us eat, I observed as I chuckled with a glint of triumph inside.

Olamide lightly ran his nimble hand beside the large tray on which the two steaming bowls of rice were seating and seething to the brim like a Kilimanjaro of impossibility.He found the missing spoon. I gasped. No qualms. Shall we begin? Yes.'Two plates of rice.Five big mouths.'I was thinking fast.How do I ensure I belle-food o because I dey fear these lions.Then a mischievous idea dropped in. Nice one.

'I observed that the four bros were dealing with a single plate,I decided to be different.I balanced on the second plate,alone. It's not greed, I've corrected you before, it's sound wisdom. Okay? So don't laugh at me.


For crying out loud, there was not enough stew to eat the pathetic rice self. In fact the fish will not be enough' I grumbled silently under my breath while shovelling the dry rice into my buccal cavity. Something told me to hurry up because once these fiercely hungry guys finish with their plate, they will be coming after mine. No time for water. Here's my chance to guzzle fast before they catch up with me. Rat race. But I found out they were just too fast, way too fast. It seemed one of them had a cooling device in his mouth. I always feared Kosin (not real name) because he eats like a prisoner on parole. At this point, I stopped cooling each spoon before eating. It was hard for me. Chei! I hurt my gum. It's peeling already. But I hid the pain.They must not know.(Hope you're not laughing?)

In the end, we emptied the two plates and it appeared everyone was satisfied except one person--me. I mourned my loss and sadly returned to bed, still hungry and very angry.

PS: what you just read is a blend of facts and fiction. There was actually a dinner of this nature. But the musings here are purely imaginative. They do not reflect the writer's thought process at the dinner. Did I try?

NYSC: Abuse of Nigerian graduates? (Published in Business Day and This Day Newspapers))

The NYSC scheme has been in the news for two major reasons this year. First was in the conduct of the April election in which the scheme provided the platform for the use of Nigerian graduates. The results of the election gained international applause and endorsement and the scheme largely shared in the credit. An African president even said Nigeria has opened their eyes to the usefulness of corps members and promised to take a cue from us in the future. Well said. Second was the hoopla subsequently generated from the harassments and assaults on some of thecorps members in which ten of them tragically lost their lives. Many stakeholders understandably called for the scraping of the scheme but reason prevailed when many other respected Nigerians and the media especiallycanvassed for its continuity. We don’t have to cut off our nose to spit our face, they argued. However, an important issue emanated from the discourse which was the need for a review of the scheme. Deputy Senate President, Senator Ike Ekweremadu in particular took it to the floor of the National Assembly for consideration. It is instructive that another member of the Assembly, Senator Sahabi Yau and 33 others have reopened the discussion recently. I was a prospective corps member when the issue first came up and was privileged to make contributions including writing an open letter to Mr. President on the matter. But now as a serving corps member seeing with an improved prism, I perceive important issues which the new Director General of NYSC, General Nnamdi Okorie-Affia need to critically examine. This could help advance the primary objectives of the scheme. I see the need for some adjustments in programmes and policies especially as the ones presently in place seem tantamount to abusing the intelligence and integrity of Nigerian graduates.

To be candid, it appears there are states where youth corps members are not needed. Through audible and unmistakable actions these states do not attach much importance to the scheme and do not appreciate the efforts of corps members. They probably have excess workforce. In such states, corps members are rejected at their place of primary assignments. In such places, corps members are not entitled to the usual state allowance approved by NYSC in lieu of accommodation. You will pardon me for not being specific here. NYSC need to make its findings. In such states, youth corps members only roam the streets, idle because they have been rejected in several places. They end up wasting the one year of youth service not adding values to themselves let alone to the nation. NYSC is duty-bound to enquire from states if they really need the services of corps members and what number to forestall time wastage of Nigerian youths. It is an insult on me to show up where my service is presumed to be needed only to be turned back.

Worse still, some states not finding places to post corps members circulate them among private individuals who have link with government. Those saddled with the duty of posting corps members to their place of primary assignment make fortune selling to bidders and distributing them among their circles of friends and acolytes. It is therefore not surprising to find corps members at business centres doing some odd, degrading and disgusting jobs. Is that not an abuse of our graduates and anopen scorn of their years of rigorous academic labour? The excuse of some states for putting corps members in questionable places is shortage of funds. If a state cannot accommodate corps members, is it compulsory it accepts a responsibility it cannot discharge?

The three weeks orientation programme also needs overhauling. As fascinating and educative as the camp activities are, some swindlers find their way into the camp to extort corps members albeit professionally and diplomatically. They do some motivational gymnastics laced with ideas of money making picked up from foreign books and in the end issue certificates of participation at a sum. They tell fake highfalutin stories to impress listeners, their gleaming three-piece suit testifying to their mojo. Some simpletons usually fall for this sophistry for the single reason of upgrading their CV. But I wonder how NYSC permitted such people into the camp to hoodwink impressionable minds. It’s unfortunate these speakers who parade themselves as representatives of their principals who head some nebulous consulting firms and professional institutes come talking about how to grab white collar jobs, implicitly discouraging the entrepreneurship spirit the organizers intend to inculcate into the corps members. NYSC shoots itself in the foot by planting these subversive elements with trained persuasive but delusive tongues. I should make a point clear here. It is good to listen to a motivational talk, but where the speaker has ulterior motive or is primarily motivated by despicable greed and pecuniary gains, then there is need for a check.

Some Nigerians have suggested the incorporation of some forms of defensive military training during the orientation programme. I wish to accentuate the essence of this point. In the prevailing condition of abject insecurity in the country plus Boko Haram unpredictable dastardly onslaught, such trainings come handy. When corps members are confronted with impossible situations where their lives are threatened, they can courageously switch either to the fight or flight mode. The ladies especially need training on how to fight rape, a malaise that is becomingendemic in the nation if recent media reports are anything to go by. The corps members that have been victims of rape would have fared betterif well oriented. This means the orientation curriculum is not complete at the moment.

It is also worthy of note that the uniform distributed to corps members in the camp is disgraceful and reproachful to say the least. The khaki wear is of two types. One is good and durable while the other is substandard and a single wash turns it into instant rag. The crested vest is also ticky-tacky. Youth corps members pay heavilyto procure substitutes. One wonders to whom the federal government contracts the job of producing the wears for the NYSC. The individual or company is grossly incompetent and can be dubbed a cheat that deserves to be prosecuted for short-changing Nigerians except if the government is not paying its dues which is very doubtful. Our government is notorious for preposterous spendings.

There is the most important issue of the lot. The NYSC needs to come out clear and tell the Nigerian public its policy on posting of Nigerian graduates. This year for instance, Lagos was unusually overcrowded to the point that NYSC was forced to issue an order that some graduates posted to Lagos should have their orientation programmes in certain designated states. What do we make of that? Struggle for the soul of Lagos or greed? Insinuations are also rife that private tertiary institutions in the country get preferential postings. I have no grouse against people who seek relocation after being posted to troubled states or on grounds of health, marriage and other genuine reasons (It is however laughable how corps members desperate for redeployment feign mental problems, epilepsy, et al). But I am miffed at redeployment or influencing of posts for the sake of convenience and comfort. How do you knowyour country well when all your life you’re restricted to the confine of your small state? What will be your world view, or is it national view, when in position of national leadership if your story begins and ends in one locale? While I don’t expect to attract a wide following on this sore note, I intend to drive it home to everyone that it is an issue we cannot continue to gloss over because it strikes at the heart of our corruption crisis. Surprisingly, even religious institutions are divided over the moral and spiritual implications of such practice. My questions will however be better directed to the NYSC. What is NYSC stance on the issue? Does it try to check such such partial and unethical practice? If a Nigerian graduate could decide where he wants to serve and no eye brow is raised,the liberality of choice may as well be extended to all; no discrimination. For instance, I would have rather chosen to serve in the luxurious officeof Mr. President in Aso Rock villa and not the village school where I now find myself teaching some noisy youths. I’m not complaining. It’s good to see the other side of Nigeria and appreciate the depth of our national predicament.

As recommendations, I wish to admonish that influencing of posting on untenable and intangible grounds should be halted. The NYSC should use its discretion and the guiding lights of NYSC--national integration and cohesion, cultural appreciation and cross-fertilization of ideas--to decide where corps members serve. States having internal crisis should be tactically avoided without making any fuss orattracting media attention to such decision which could heat up the polity.Their indigenes could be sent to them to prevent a distracting lacuna. The NYSC should investigate the allegations raised here and find urgent answers to the questions posed for the future of the scheme. The NYSC scheme isdoing a lot for corps members, thanks to the visionary leadership of the pastDirector General, Brigadier General Maharazu Tsiga who was both a father and friend to all corps members. His travail and triumph in the critical moments of the April polls bespeak him as a colossus worth national celebration. Brigadier General Nnamdi has a great challenge ahead of him and on behalf of corps members nationwide, I pledge unalloyed support for his leadership.

Folarin Samson is a serving corps member in Ebonyi State

*08030572852/ childofdkingdom@gmail.com

Minimum wage, Education and Ebonyi State (Published in Compass, Tribune and Punch)

Mr Abdulwahed Omar, President of the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), would have probably counted the successful passage of the Minimum Wage Bill in the National Assembly as one of his achievements as the year winds up. But it is doubtful if the consequent fallouts have not made the bill rather  distasteful. The implementation is costing  much more than the increment itself can bear. The masses, some of who may never benefit from the struggle, are holding the shorter end of the stick. First is the on-going debate on the removal of fuel subsidy for which the administration of President Goodluck Jonathan is in the cutting teeth of criticism. The president’s economic team, in a bid to preempt a possible inflationary reaction, among other technical explanations, sees the removal as expedient. Labour, however, thinks differently. Nigeria is too rich, too naturally endowed for its citizenry to earn anything less than N18,000. And if members of parliament are living big, civil servants who are the geese that lay the golden eggs are no second-class citizens. For some of the states that are still lingering and dithering, the alibi is that their credit facility is too weak to support such salary structure. But as labour is pulling all available strings to subject their Excellencies to the agreement, several state governments are resorting to crude stratagems and acting unadvisedly.

Abia State has tacitly implied it no longer believes in the unity of Nigeria.  The government  gave orders that all non-natives be sacked and sent back to their home states under the pretext of not having enough to go round.  To what level the federal government would watch and allow this divisive decree succeed is still a subject for conjecture. The Ebonyi State Government on its part has started suggesting an end to free education in the state beginning with the cessation of financing the certificate exams of its final year secondary school students.

It’s unbelievable that  the Chief Martins Elechi-led administration could only think of education as the sector to bear the brunt of maximum  rage over minimum wage. The NECO/WAEC failure hall of fame has always depicted the dismal and pitiable condition of education in Ebonyi, nay in Nigeria. Many  state governments have been making frantic attempts to raise the standard of education in their states and support education more. Against this backdrop, one would have expected that the Ebonyi State Government would put in place excellence-enhancing measures and inducements to arrest poor academic performance and encourage enviable scholarship among its teeming youths.

Regrettably, the state government appears too myopic and only sees its minimal educational investment as the means to cushion the effect of minimum wage implementation.

The current decision to stop paying  examination fees is a huge minus to the state government. The excuse of low Federal Government allocation thaws when one considers the fact that the state government two years ago started paying just 50per cent of the exams fees. With this decision, many of the students would only be able to write one of both exams, thereby jeopardizing their chance of university education, depleting the intellectual capacity of the state which leads to a despicable state of underdevelopment.

There is another dimension to this sad narrative. Ebonyi State is largely rural, hence the majority of its student populace are children of the poor peasants who are not  on the payroll of any government parastatal. What this means is that the government wants to rob Peter to pay Paul and the teachers appear impervious to the plights of their innocent students. Frustrated Ebonyi State workers want the government to pay minimum wage willy-nilly; the means to this end is inconsequential to them. The implications of all this mind-numbing subterfuge which I doubt Chief Elechi’s government gave serious thought, is that once these poor farmers are hard up (their parents are mostly farmers), the effect will boomerang on the economy of the state as the price of agricultural produce will automatically surge.

From another perspective, is it not possible that this current policy direction could make the students more serious with their studies and go on to achieve academic exploits?  No. The environment is not supportive of such a curious twist, although there could be few exceptions. Rather than make them more serious, it would only give them a very good reason not to be in school. It would only increase the illiteracy index of the state. It will only increase the number of drop-outs due to financial inadequacy. It will only portray the state as hypocritical in its much vaunted pursuit of the MDGs of which education is central.

Unfortunately, like many other states, the educational sector of Ebonyi lies prostrate with continuous strike actions. Currently, the state workers are ready for a final showdown with the state government as the Elechi-led administration is not yielding to their agitations, despite his present stringent policies.

I wish to plead with the state governor, Chief  Elechi to revoke the decision which is not in the best interest of Ebonyi people whom he vowed to serve on re-election. Those poor, innocent youths who represent the future of the state and of the country deserve more than half payment for their final exams, let alone total removal of support. They may not fully grasp the implications of the removal of fuel subsidy because they make their long distance journeys by leg and bicycle, but they understand fully the removal of education subsidy because their long life’s  journey depends on it.  They have reposed too much confidence in the Elechi’s government to be let down so cheaply because of the demand of a Union.

However, if the state government decides to stick to its guns and insists education should suffer because of minimum wage, I appeal to the Senators and members of the House of Representatives  and of the state Assembly, including successful entrepreneurs in and outside the state to take up the challenge and sponsor the students. There is need for stakeholders to rise up and come to the rescue of their statesmen if they agree with the late renown British politician Robin Cook,  who says, “Education is more than a luxury; it is a responsibility that society owes itself”

For the minimum wage imbroglio, I am simply at a loss about all these reactions. It is clear by the time the dust settles on all conflicts generated, the status quo will be maintained. The lots of Nigerians may not have been bettered or buttered since monetary increment does not equate financial empowerment or improved standard of living. The truth is that minimum wage is not living wage! Labour should therefore begin to intensify efforts to campaign for policies with lasting values. Many of its frictions with government have been triggered by monetary discontentment. The leadership needs to be more visionary and proactive so there can be tangible improvement in the well-being of the Nigerian citizens.

Samson, a serving corps member  can be reached via  childofdkingdom@gmail.com

ABSU rape scandal: Can we learn? (Published in Punch, This Day, The Nation))

The recent shocking news of a five-man gang that allegedly raped a female undergraduate student in Abia State has generated uncontrollable outrage both at home and abroad. The international community and the human rights groups especially have risen to condemn the barbaric act, challenging the country to uncover the perpetrators or risk sanctions. The social media where the buzz emanated has also been alive with new revelations as the hunt for the 'Five Evil Men', as one blogger called them, is being intensified by angry youths. True, no one who sees the height of senselessness displayed by those fellows in the gory video circulating in the Internet will ever be the same again. It's horrible and terrible. The students, suspected to be cultists, after beating their victim to submission pounced on her in a cruel fashion to have carnal knowledge of her, mocking while she helplessly pleaded to be killed instead of being left to societal ridicule. And her only offence was that she allegedly disrespected one of them.

Many rape incidents may have gone unnoticed because the victims in trying to avoid stigmatisation decided to lick their wounds in silence; but this case appears an exception. Reason? The fellows in this case were very daring. They chose to report themselves and dared the Nigerian government to come after them if it can. They recorded the video and circulated it among their friends (after they blurred their own images), who in a bid to spite the girl further circulated it on the campus until it was uploaded on Youtube, an on-line social media site, from where the world now watch it with disdain. The foreign media have also reported the story. While the situation is certainly appalling, there are very important issues that need to be highlighted.

When the rape was freshly reported, the Abia State Government, in a desperate attempt to exonerate itself from the mess and without conducting adequate investigation, released a press statement that purportedly absolved the Abia State University from the unfortunate incident. The Vice-Chancellor of the university also maintained that none of the participants in the rape was his student. Unfortunately, the President of the students body of the school who was supposed to embody not only leadership but thoroughness and diligence joined his VC to spin the same web of cover-up despite the clues in the video. A student of the university was said to have admitted to a popular blogger (name withheld) that such incidents are not new on the campus and that the boys were actually students of the university. So what is more?

The conundrum was complicated by the pussy-footing and unenthusiastic approach of security agents. The dilemma of the security forces is probably understandable but not excusable. They said they cannot rely on internet gossips and insisted on having the victim report to them. The Commissioner of Police, Abia State, Mr Bala Hassan, was quoted as saying, "We don't investigate rape cases based on what people put on Twitter. When a crime is committed, the DPO must send detectives to investigate the scene of the crime. Up till now, have you seen the victim? Have you seen the scene of the crime? Have you seen the suspects? It is a very dangerous rumour that must be dismissed by all good meaning Abians and Nigerians''. Methinks that the absence of the victim notwithstanding, access to some clues and leads from the video should have been enough to make them swing into action, find the victim whose faces were not blurred, establish the place of the incident and the true identity of those masked faces in the video thereby forestalling the long chain of confusion, distortion and the embarrassment that followed.

Fortunately, the work that was supposed to be done by the Abia State University, the state government and security forces has been done by militant Nigerian youths and volunteers on cyberspace. In a rare show of passion, a blogger placed N200,000 on the heads of these sons of Belial. Another offered to use a software to process the blurred images of the perpetrators. Many vented their spleen on their blog pages in strong comments and curses. Some ladies literally soaked their blogs with tears. In the end, the efforts yielded fruits as the perpetrators have been reportedly identified as students of the institution with their names and pictures released to the public. From the video and the research of some courageous Nigerian youths, the students were identified as Ifeanyi Justin Ogu, Jonah Uche (final year/extra year Accountancy), Zaki and Chisom. The Abia State Governor is now talking tough. The Police have also been jolted by a sudden realisation of their despicable dereliction.

However, one's concern is not just the apprehension of these dare-devils as in the safety and security of the victim if she's still alive. Threats and abduction are likely tools they may use against her. Moreover, the thought of suicide cannot be ruled out. Her face was clear in the video. And over one million people are said to have downloaded and watched the video on Youtube, aside those who have it on their phones through Bluetooth. This lady should be sought out and properly rehabilitated. She's a Nigerian citizen entitled to the fundamental human rights contained in our constitution. I suggest she be flown out of the country. A Nigerian environment may not be conducive for her rehabilitation going by the extent of damage done already.

For those perpetrators, they should be punished for this nefarious act against humanity. They have murdered sleep and don't deserve to rest in peace, dead or alive. The Nigerian Criminal Code Chapter 30 Section 358 stipulates 'life imprisonment with or without caning' as punishment for rape, which should not be relaxed for them, no matter their background. But I fear these evil ones may now be at large for fear of being caught. The current tempestuous wave of anger must have sent jitters down their spines. But they have no hiding place under the sun. The Nigerian security forces have a great work to do to salvage their reputation and prove to the world that they are up to the task to get these bad eggs that have no scintilla of sympathy or dignity. This case should not be treated with kid's gloves.

The police have the Nigerian youths to thank so far. I however wish to admonish our youths not to, as the Bible says, ''Let not your good be evil spoken of''. The rabid quest of many bloggers and Facebook users for the immoral video is most unfortunate. The more the video is circulated, the more the victim's sorrow is aggravated and the more we help these wicked people achieve their satanic purpose of spreading infamy and obscenity. Instead, the pictures and names of these men should be circulated. Besides, if the youth could show this commendable level of solidarity for one of them who was brutally violated, then we can translate the same energy and zeal for the rebuilding of our beloved country, Nigeria. Youths are the future...and that future is here!

Folarin is a National Youth Service Corps member in Ebonyi State. He can be reached on childofdkingdom@gmail.com or 08030572852

Tales from my jungle 3: The mad corper

                                                    NB: this is a special release for Batch C corps members. 

It was blazingly hot outside the hostel.The intensity of this sun can boil any tepid water to 100 degree cent. Any headache that results from its malignant attack may even become incurable. But this inclement weather did not stop the soldiers from blowing the trumpet for the afternoon parade. After all, we had pledged to serve 'under the sun and in the rain'. They envied us for our degrees and were determined to make life difficult for us at least for the three weeks we'll be under their cruel training. Around the camp, you can see some people swirling and swarming like bees.You might mistaken them for white fowls or prisoners in a concentration camp. They were actually corp members in incubation hence their detestable white-white uniform. 

On this day, I was on my bed. I had fallen sick because my body reacted to the regimented excercises we had gone through. So I stayed behind while others scampered out to escape the wrath of the soldiers. As expected, the soldiers stormed our hostel barking, screaming and threatening brimstone and fire on whoever remained in the hostel. I maintained my calm, still as a mummy. One of them sighted me and ran in my direction like an hungry cobra that just spotted a delectable prey.I was undetered. Surprised his braggadocio did not move me, he became more furious and ordered with his barrack voice that I go out. 'I'm sick' I painfully muttered.He demanded my permit from the clinic section of the camp. I fumbled through my bag searching for the paper. I found it and slipped it into his hand. He scanned the content, stared at me, his eyeballs flaring with rage. 'You think say I no go school, watin you dey give me?', he querried, livid. He called the attention of his colleages and told them I wanted to deceive him with a sheet of paper. I was speechless. 

A few metres away from my bed, another drama was unfolding. Another corps member who had stayed behind was being interrogated by a soldier.The soldier wanted to know why he stayed behind when others had left.The boy kept quiet.He threatened to take him to the guardroom if he didn't talk. Silence.The soldier became apprehensive of the boy's absorbed silence.He shouted at him to come down from the bed.More silence.'You dey mad?', he said with confusion and frustration in his husky voice.The boy gave him a long look and hesitantly whispered:'I have mental problem'.The young soldier recoiled and quietly stalked away from his bed. 

I almost doubled up with laughter where I was.My soldier interlocutor was still very angry.His grouse with me was that I gave him a paper containing drug prescription and not permit.Since that was all I had to show I was sick,I could not say a word.My plea for consideration fell on deaf ears as he insisted I leave the hostel.'You no be the only one way dey sick,go out', he bellowed.And since I could not masterly feign mental problem like my hostel friend, I had to leave. 

PS: This is to welcome all Batch C corps members across the federation into the three weeks NYSC orientation programme. What you just read is a glimpse into what to expect the weeks ahead-intrigues, tricks and threats. The soldiers, mopols, man 'o war will be your friends this time around, not the police. They will shout at you, threaten you but will not lift a finger against you. That's the rule. To do otherwise is a taboo. A breach of that sacrosanct rule almost disrupted my July camp. 

You will eat for free, so you really don't need to be heavily stuffed with cash. But beware o. If you are in Ebonyi for instance, be careful of the meat. You may have eaten 'Jacky' without knowing it. Jacky means donkey meat. My Batch A corps member ate a lot of it without knowing. By the time they knew, it was too late. Some of them almost purged out their intestines on discovery. 

Yes, attend the seminars. They are educative but delusive, especially the motivational talks. Participate in all the activities and competition-football, volleyball, parade,drama,cultural dance, early morning jogging. It's really fun. You'll learn a couple of martial songs and chants. My favourtite is: 'This is the way I wanted to be o(2ce), eh I want to be a corper, eh I want to be a rugged...' And prepare against the fire alarm night. It's the night of distress (**mouth sealed) 

You must also wake up early. 4:00am will be a good time. Prepare your mind for the morning devotion and meditation. I took one of the morning talks when I was in camp, you can do it too. 

Lest I forget, remember to go with all the things you'll need if you don't want to be a victim of exploitation. The traders in the 'mammy market' are envious of your fat allowee and won't mind sharing it with you. Go with a pouche(a waist bag to keep your money), a food flask and spoon. I regretted not having all these as I fell headlong into the hands of the 'mammy traders.' 

Have fun. Make friends. Like me,document your experience.

Tales from the jungle 2: Travelling in a coffin

WARNING: Please don't laugh at the writer, he's not happy he wrote this. It is the Nigerian condition he has to put up with, at least for now...and don't pity him. You may be tempted to laugh, muffle it. Find a middle course...and yes, try to comment after reading. Welcome to the jungle where life is nasty, brutish but long. 

The road to the Abakaliki motor park could be very dusty. Cab drivers anxious to leave the park with their human cargos manoeuvre through the crooked track and cause more problems for the road as they lock horns with other impatient road users. Then guess what follows? Swear words.Tantrums.Blame trading.As a visitor,it could sound more like a babel.A confusion of tongues, sort of because you can't decipher a word. But such rowdy scenes are not peculiar to Ebonyi. Only that the state has its own particularities. I have never seen such height of greed in my life. I'm serious. Please continue. 

The motor park is located at the centre of the Abakaliki main market. On this particular day, the sun had over-played and caught napping, was hastening to its home where it could conveniently cover its shame in the shielding horizon.Darkness was fast closin in.But I was determined to get back to Ojiegbe,the place of my primary assignment which is a few kilometres away from Abakaliki the capital of the salt state. I had been ill and had gone to see a doctor who had given me some smelly drugs.I took some and threw some away.They were just too disgusting to me (don't feel disappointed o, I don't like taking drugs.In fact, I hate it wit passion.I am well now...but my docky must not know this,so help keep it as our little secret.Promise?) 

As I ascended the steep hill that leads to the park,two men advanced in my direction and scuttled for my bag.Robbery in broad day light? I was startled, shocked, afraid.... Their approach was uncultured, sorry,uncommon is a better word.They were actually the 'garage boys' who led me to the right cab to convene me to my destination. It was here I saw greed with human face. Please read on. 

Ideally, a cab is supposed to carry four passengers, plus the driver making five. Isn't it? Please don't tell any Ebonyi cab driver that theory o, or he would stone you to death. Let me be a little graphical. 

Here in Ebonyi, a cab could take as much as eight mature, fully grown adults! You are asking how? Fix the puzzle- three sit in the front with all their luggage, four squeeze themselves at the back like hurriedly packed sandine and another adult finds existence in the boot. I mean in the boot! The same boot is heavily stuffed with industrial consummables like cartons of drinks, biscuits, sacks of cassava, heavy duty bags of potatoes, oranges, among others. Him be animal? Probably. That's not all.The top of the cab has some ghana-must-go bags strapped to it with some thick ropes. In the end, you have some shoving, struggling and sweating souls crammed into a tiny space and bound together by fate and hate.They must endure this hardship for about an hour.And for your passage through this human coffin,you must part with N300.Here, you pay to die and you have no option. 

You can trust me that I won't keep quiet in that horrible, inhuman condition. I shot at the driver: 'How can you people be so carlous endangering people's lives with your greed? This is shameful!' 'It's not our fault o, blame the road, we have terrible roads, and the police' he retorted. Then he burst into a hulabaloo of Ibo. I kept quiet. We had three intermittent stops on that road. Why? Police settlements. They unabashedly demanded their share as they hailed the poor man. I was dumb. I've always thought Lagos is the only corrupt place where police officers are shameless. These ones appear worse. Maybe the driver was right. The system is bad. He must endanger our lives to make hands meet. 

I must survive, I shall not die but live...though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death of Ebonyi... the Lord is my shephered. As I made this frantic prayer, I took a quick look at the back seat, and all I saw was that despite the inconvience and my jeremiad, the village women still managed to sleep and snore in the cab. They are inure to the pains already. Oh can you imagine, somebody was even drawing saliva...Oh my God! 

Nigerians, what's the way forward?

Tales from the jungle 1: Lesson in shot-put

Tales from my jungle 1: A lesson in 'shot-up'. 


WARNING: Pls don't read if you don't want to laugh. 


Change of environment can truly mean change of lifestyle. For instance, in my villa(ge) we go into the bush to answer the call of nature. You understand what I mean, don't pretend. Ok, let's assume you don't. No arguments. Continue. There are three delapidated mud blocks designed for that purpose. We call them Elechi (named after our old governor).


 The process is simple. When going for this mission, you need to arm yourself with sufficient papers while you sing 'Guide me O, thou great Jehovah Pilgrim...' If you are a teacher, you are lucky because you can always organise fake assignments and tests for your students to gather enough papers (Don't laugh o, it's a way of life here. In fact, how are you sure city teachers dont do the same. Do they return your test scripts? I wonder o)


 Yes, as I was saying, then you empty your bowel on a spreadsheet of paper, large enough to contain your downloads, as you stoop low, really low to conquer. When you are done, you turn around and appreciate the size, strength and smell of your by-product while you also helplessly watch some hungry flies buzz around like state inspectors sent to investigate the quality of your nutrition (They are choosy o, they wont eat bad shit). 


Then you fold it up and gently toss it over the window as you sing 'I am delivered, praise the Lord...' To clean up yourself, you tear another sheets of paper and rub several of it on the 'affected area' till you are sure you can safely go back to human land without constituting a pollution nuisance.


 The best time to do this business is in the evening when its dark. You don't have to enter 'Elechi'. You can simply crouch and couch in the open bush and 'do it' there. The cool breeze that mingles with fresh flowery breathe at this somnolent time of the day can lull you into forgeting your miseries. It eases your mind. It penetrates and infilterates your compartments and departments. Under its overwhelming influence you may sing, 'When peace like a river attendent my way...It is well, it is well with my soul' But it can also be very dangerous. Sometimes, while secreting those hateful matters, you could be hunted by the fear of a gliding reptile. Your instinct stands on end to warn that you might be dead before anyone knows anything. The eerie and cricket noise heighten your fear of the unknown. And as if to lend credence to your creepy thought, you begin to feel certain movements behind you. I'm sure you don't need anybody to tell you to stand up and run, do you?