Tales from my jungle 6: Love in the camp

Note: This piece is real, personal. After reading it, you will either like me or hate me.Well, let me know which side of the divide you fall into after reading.God understands I had to do what I did though an heart was fractured in the process (I'm no heart breaker o).Ready for this?Let's go.

Is it true that love not reciprocated degenerates into irreconciliable hatred?Have you ever been in love but ignored or rejected? I've got an experience to share.

The NYSC orientation camp on a good day is a beehive of activities-seminars, football competitions, parade, comedy shows, cultural dance, drama. You are encoruaged to be social. I observed that many of these were designed to induce interraction among corps members. If you didn't get any girl friend while on campus,the camp can be a good place to begin a sizzling romantic affair.

After a week of camping, many platonic and erotic relationships were forged. I almost tangled with a lady too. How did it go? (I know you enjoy love stories like this) You'll soon find out, please continue.It all began when I chose to be part of the drama group for my platoon. We wanted to depict the problems confronting inter-tribal marriage. It would be a love story. Then I was chosen to act the role of the lover boy. It would be the opening scene and we were expected to do a little romance including allowing her rest her full weight on me, sit on my lap, a little caressing to make it look real....(I leave the rest to your wild imagination). My heart started thumping fast.Me? Lover boy? How?

The girl I was to pair up with fell in love with the idea. Sincerely, she's the kind of girl any man would really want for keeps. Her features are quickly discernable. She's got a dark shining skin like polished ebony. In her luminous eye balls you could see the sun in its beauty. If she rolls them, please don't look at her because she's out for a kill. Her slim fragile frame, enchanting body contours, velvet voice acme seduction.Her sheepish smiles and alluring eye lashes make her the unmistakeable masterpiece of a skilled human achitect.In her white shorts and white round-neck top, she would outclass any gaudily dressed model on the runway, her thin long legs being an advantage. She's the kind of girl any man would love to look twice. In appearance, she's got a coquettish disposition, the spirit of the party type. She's beautiful. But I feared for my life. Yes, it's a drama, but I no fit do am.

I saw that my colleagues were scandalised when they noticed my palpable discomfort. How can a man in his right senses refuse such a 'golden' opportunity? Will you say you never had a girl friend in secondary school or university? You've never slept with a girl before? Where are you from? The questions came in torrents, reflecting their dark passions and rude shock. To all this, I played mute. Quiet like a boy robbed of his toy.

A guy who was particularly envious of my 'luck' and had jockingly teased and urged me to clutch to my prize after the drama was eager to replace me.

But the girl would have none of that. She wanted nobody else but this 'Jew' guy. Then she called me aside for a tete-a-tete. "Please I want you to act it because that other guy can be 'crazy' with girls, even on set "(please decode what she meant). I wanted to be part of the drama but I just could not reconcile my role with my rule.The equation was too complex. While in school, I would not allow a girl hug me, let alone sit on my lap.

That's my rule.I'm a realist. What if body chemistry contracts, reacts and begin to interact? (No laugh o) See, I am a firm believer in the biological theory that says when two opposite poles meet, there must be a chemical reaction. Can you imagine what it will look like to try containing a raging fire, a tempestous passion while in a live performance that got your audience distracted from what you're doing to another show that's of deeper interest to them? Sho! I can't give Macgregor audience another drama on stage (laughing...)

Back to my story.Unmoved by my strange stance, they decided to use one of the guys around to testrun so I could see my line. I was still unconvinced and uncomfortable. I chose to opt out. I no fit do am. Don't tempt the devil to tempt you.

The girl was bitter and disconsolate. The other tetchy ladies began to isolate me despite my conciliatory moves. I was stigmatised a spoiler, a pariah who deserved to be quarantined in an asylum. Although I succeeded in worming my way back into their hearts, my Edo corper 'lover' however decided to put me at arms length. Her response to my banters is a study in non-challance. She gave me cold stare anytime our faces jammed. It was obvious she was terribly hurt and disappointed.

But how will I explain that the rationale for my action can be found in a poser raised by an intellectual and philosophical monarch over 2,000 years ago which no scientific genuis or epistemology has been able to debunk or repeal? It's archived in the Good Book: 'Can a man put fire in his bossom and his clothes not be burnt?

'Please don't get me wrong. I am not Pope John Paul the third neither am I an aspiring Paul the Apostle on this matter. Celibacy is not in my lineage and I don't intend to start it (my parents go vex and posterity no go forgive me for not reproducing my kind). But I believe in the strong pillars of discipline, purity, integrity and chastity. I'm also careful and selective. You can't hook me by drama or grammar except by prayer. If interested, please apply via 40 days and 40 nights of prayer and fasting on Mount Everest, oh that's too far, try clambering Kilimanjairo.Pray hard. I'm the best man prayer can buy. (laughing....)
To read other jungle tales click: www.childofdkingdom.blogspot.com